


Working Title ...

by olive2read



Category: Actor RPF, Canadian Actor RPF, Schitt's Creek, Schitt's Creek (TV) RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Tentacles, Alternating RPF & Not RPF, Anxiety, Catastrophising, Crossing the streams - erm - the creek, Dan’s sea cave environment, M/M, On and off screen chemistry, Season 3 Spoilers, TenTACKles, confused feelings, intimacy kink
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-14
Updated: 2019-07-15
Packaged: 2020-06-27 20:59:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 5,870
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19797667
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/olive2read/pseuds/olive2read
Summary: Noah is really enjoying his first season on Schitt’s Creek and flirting with Dan in character. He’s hopeful that the chemistry on set will translate to chemistry off set.——Meanwhile, things are progressing between David and Patrick in a parallel track. Which pair is doing what, now?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This begins during shooting for S3:E11 “Stop Saying Lice!” immediately after the scene where Patrick invites David to stay with him.
> 
> This is a mishmash of RPF and non. Each chapter has a note to identify the ship being explored.
> 
> Note: contains tentacles

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DL/NR RPF

“And, cut!”

Noah grinned at the careful way Dan put the bottle back into the box. He loved the way Dan was so careful with everything, so precise. He took a breath and decided to go for it. “You, um, you really could, you know.”

“Hmmm?” Dan asked absentmindedly, scanning his eyes across the shelves and boxes.

“Um,” Noah swallowed. “Stay over, I mean.”

Dan gave him a look that was half smirk and half question and entirely hot. “Stay over,” he repeated.

“Yeah, you know, um, if, um, if you need a night away.”

Dan was full-on smirking now. “A night away.”

Noah ran a hand across the back of his neck, hoping his nervousness wasn’t obvious but knowing it must be if Dan was just repeating what he was saying. How did people even _do_ this sort of thing?

Dan stepped toward him. “You do know that my sister doesn’t _actually_ have lice, right?” He took another step closer.

Noah couldn’t look at him so he just nodded, looking down at their shoes. Dan’s shoes bracketing his legs was doing things to his power of speech. He opened his mouth but couldn’t think of anything to say and shut it again.

“And that Annie isn’t _actually_ my sister, right?”

Noah felt his entire body go hot with embarrassment as he nodded again. He’d thought that was a clever line but clearly Dan must think he’d lost it.

Dan reached out and put a hand on Noah’s arm and a few slender tentacles wrapped gently around Noah’s wrist. It was soft, so much softer than Noah had dared to imagine and he felt his whole body erupt in goosebumps. It was the hottest thing that had ever happened to him. “Is everything ok, Noah?”

Noah gulped, unable to tear his eyes away from the tentacles, one of which was slowly stroking over his pulse. “I, yeah. Sorry, um, sorry. I was trying to be funny. I thought it could be a fun way to invite you over for a, um, a drink.” He finally looked up and met Dan’s gaze. There didn’t seem to be any pity there, so that was a bonus, but there didn’t seem to be any interest either. Noah’s heart sank. It had taken weeks to get up the courage to finally ask Dan and he’d blown it.

Dan smiled gently and Noah rushed out, “Really I just wanted to say thanks.”

Dan’s look turned to confusion and one of those incredible eyebrows quirked up. A few more tentacles climbed up around Dan’s shoulders and it felt to Noah as though they were watching him quizzically. “Thank me.” Oh, no, Dan was repeating his words again. “For … ?”

Noah took a deep breath. “For taking a chance on me and inviting me to be a part of this.” He couldn’t hold Dan’s gaze any longer without blushing so he spread his hands, encompassing the set. He’d found over the past few weeks that this was an excellent diversion tactic. Dan was always happy to talk about the show and would take any opportunity to expand on his plans. He was so animated as he gushed about whatever the latest innovation was on set, his tentacles gesticulating right along with his hands in that magical way they did, and he was so gracious in his obviously sincere love for everyone involved. Noah basked in the reflected glow and eagerly swallowed every drop of praise that came his way from those lush lips. God, those lips.

Oh shit. Dan was looking at him expectantly. Noah tried to scan back through the last minute but all he could think about was how desperately he wanted to taste those lips. 

Noah flushed. “Yeah, sorry, I was just … sorry, what were you saying?”

Dan smiled at him. “Don’t worry about it. I know it’s been a long day and this is probably the last thing you want to talk about.”

“What? No, Dan, truly. I want, I want to hear everything you have to say.” 

Dan gazed at him for a long moment and Noah felt his face heat again. God, Dan was going to see right through him if he couldn’t get the redness under control.

“Ok,” he said. Noah blinked at him and Dan smiled. “A drink sounds lovely. Tonight?” Noah didn’t trust himself to speak so he just nodded. Dan clapped a hand on his back. “Great, see you then.”

Noah stared after him in a daze. Had that just happened? Did he just … ? Holy shit.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PB/DR

David’s phone buzzed with a text. He smiled as Patrick’s name came up and then frowned at the content.

**Are you still wearing the shower cap?**

_Ew, no._

**Aw, that’s a shame**

_What? Why? Besides, Stevie made me take it off before she’d let me get in bed_

**Wait, you’re in bed with Stevie????**

David blinked at his phone. That was surely an excessive number of question marks. _Of course. Not that it’s any of your business, but I did tell you I was staying over._

There was a long pause and David rolled his eyes. He had just put his phone down again when it buzzed. David chewed his lip and debated not looking at the message but knew he’d never be able to hold out until morning.

**Yeah, you did. I just …**

David waited.

**💭 …**

And waited.

**💭 …**

Oh. My. God. _What_ was he typing?

**I didn’t realise you were still sleeping together**

David shuddered and gagged. _Ew. Gross. No. We’re not *sleeping together* sleeping together. Ew. It’s just sleep_

**💭 …**

**💭 …**

**But you’re sharing the bed?**

_Yes, we’re sharing the bed. I’m stressed enough without getting a crick in my neck from her completely inadequate couch._

**💭 …**

**💭 …**

David wanted to kill whoever had decided that showing the person was typing was a good feature. He really didn’t have the patience for this. _I’m sorry, but why is this important?_

**💭 …**

**💭 …**

**You’re right, it isn’t. Sorry. I’m glad you have a safe place to sleep. Good night.**

David put his phone down and rolled over on to his back. He crossed his arms over his chest, then lay them flat at his sides, then turned over on his side and glared at the phone. Finally, expelling an enormous sigh because he couldn’t believe he was doing this, he typed out _Good night_

**Sleep tight**

**Don’t let the bedbugs bite 😝**

David shrieked and threw his phone across the room.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DL/NR RPF
> 
> Contains tentacles

Noah looked around his apartment and failed to picture Dan in it. He wasn’t ready for this. He’d jumped the gun. He’d just send a quick text, not to cancel, just to, um, postpone. Something cool and suave that would give Dan a chuckle.

He pulled out his phone and typed, and deleted, and retyped, and deleted, several things. He chewed on his lower lip, trying to find the perfect pithy thing to say.

There was a knock at the door and Noah blanched. He looked at his watch and expelled a breath in relief. It was far too early to be Dan. There were always notes and administrivia Dan had to deal with at the end of the day and it generally took at least a few hours. It was fine, probably just a package delivery or something. He couldn’t remember ordering anything but who else could it possibly be?

He opened the door and froze. Dan smiled and held out a bottle of wine. Noah just stared. Dan’s smile faltered. “Noah?”

Noah shook himself and somehow managed to force himself to speak. “Dan, hi, yeah, sorry, I wasn’t expecting you.” At Dan’s bewildered look, Noah tried to course correct. “I mean, this early. I wasn’t expecting you this early. Obviously I was expecting you.”

Dan waited, looking uncertainly at Noah, the wine bottle between them, suddenly awkward. “If this isn’t a good time …” he began. 

Noah wanted to kick himself and instead pasted what he hoped was a smile on his face and stepped back, gesturing for Dan to enter. “No, it’s perfect, sorry, I’m sorry. Please, come in.”

Dan handled him the bottle and stepped in. Noah closed the door and leaned his forehead against it for a moment, willing his heart rate to normalise. Taking a deep breath, he turned to follow after Dan, only to find the man standing in the entryway watching him. He flushed.

“I’m sorry, I figured you’d be on set for a few more hours, with the notes and the, um, the dailies, and um,” he flushed as he realised Dan would probably guess he’d been lurking around after shoots, trying to catch glimpses. “Sorry, I just wasn’t, I’m sorr-” He stopped as Dan shook his head and took a step closer.

“You don’t have to keep apologising, Noah. I’m right where I need to be.”

Noah’s eyes widened and he somehow managed a nod. “Sorry,” he flushed again but Dan just smiled at him. “Right,” Noah smiled ruefully back and took a deep breath. “Let’s get this open, eh?” He said, lifting the bottle and heading toward the kitchen.

Once there he wiped his sweaty hands surreptitiously on the towel and opened the wine, pouring them both a generous serving. He took a healthy swig of his glass and handed the other to Dan, who accepted it with a smirk, a few tentacles wrapping themselves around the stem.

Noah found his eyes riveted on them once more. He took another taste of the wine, sipping this time, then looked up to find Dan’s eyes on him. 

“Do they freak you out?” Dan asked, retracting the tentacles inside his sleeve. “Were they too much, earlier?”

“What? No!” Noah reached out a hand, paused at the wary look on Dan’s face, and, gulping, asked “may I?”

Dan nodded cautiously and Noah slipped a finger under Dan’s cuff. He shivered as a tentacle wrapped tentatively around it. God but he loved the feel of them against his skin and he crooked his finger, tugging gently. He looked up at Dan in wonder and blushed at the heat in Dan’s eyes. Dan used his free hand to set his glass on the counter, then took Noah’s from him and placed it down as well. He stepped closer, bracketing Noah’s legs with his own, just as he had earlier, and Noah swallowed audibly. Dan put a firm hand on Noah’s waist.

A few tentacles slid up under Noah’s shirt and across his back as Dan leaned in, brushing Noah’s lips ever-so-softly with his own. Noah’s knees buckled and he heard Dan’s chuckle as more tentacles reached out to steady him.

Noah reached up to cup Dan’s jaw and pulled him in for another kiss. He put all of his longing into it, wrapping around Dan’s tongue as tentacles curled around him, and moaning as they pulled him closer to Dan until their chests brushed. Noah reddened as Dan shifted his hips slightly and their cocks came into contact. Even with all of their clothes on it was electric and Noah moaned into Dan’s mouth.

Suddenly he felt himself lifted bodily and broke the kiss in surprise as Dan lifted him onto the counter. Dan’s hands fumbled at Noah’s belt as tentacles swept his shirt up and off. Dan’s mouth claimed his once more as his hand freed Noah’s cock from his jeans. Noah moaned again and Dan released the kiss, eyes roaming over Noah’s exposed flesh appreciatively. For once, Noah’s anxiety didn’t overwhelm him, too lost in sensation to worry.

He followed Dan’s gaze down to his cock and Noah realised that Dan’s hands had slid to his hips and the friction against his cock was entirely from the tentacles writhing around him. His cock jerked and he gulped, trying to think of something, anything, unsexy to hold himself back from orgasm.

Dan leaned in and nibbled Noah’s ear as one of the tentacles around his cock pulled back and started to expand. It opened and surrounded the head of Noah’s cock. The inside was warm and moist. The tentacle engulfing him began a pulsating wave of suction and Noah’s whole body shuddered.

“That’s right,” Dan whispered, scraping his teeth along Noah’s ear. “Come for me, Noah.”

Noah’s cock was only too happy to comply.

___

Noah came back to himself slowly. His mind reeled and his body swayed slightly. Dan was kissing his way down Noah’s throat, hands and tentacles petting him soothingly. He was glad of the counter beneath him as he wasn’t sure his legs could hold him.

He grinned foolishly up into Dan’s eyes. “Hi, Dan.”

Dan grinned right back at him. “Hey, Noah.” He leaned in and kissed the tip of Noah’s nose. “How are you?”

Noah blushed. “I’m awesome.” Dan kissed him lightly, on the lips this time, and handed him his glass of wine. Noah took a fortifying sip. “I’ve wanted that, um, wanted you, for, um, for awhile.”

Dan smiled. “Likewise. I’m so glad you finally invited me over.”

“Was I obvious?”

Dan cocked his head, giving him a searching look. “Kind of? I mean, I wasn’t sure if you were really into me or if you were just really embodying Patrick.” He took a deep breath. “I also worried that you wouldn’t be into the, um, the tentacles.”

Noah reached out and intertwined his fingers with the tentacles playing shyly with Dan’s shirt. “I’m very into them.”

Dan laughed. “Yeah, I kinda got that.”

Noah gulped down the rest of his wine, setting his glass aside once more and taking Dan’s to place on the counter as well. “Let me show you,” he murmured, sliding down to press against Dan for a moment before grabbing his hand and taking him upstairs.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DL/NR RPF
> 
> Contains tentacles

The next couple of weeks passed in a blur. Noah tried to keep his hands to himself on set and, for the most part, managed to remain professional in front of their colleagues with only a few slip-ups. Like that moment shooting episode 12 when David says “As long as it doesn’t get hard,” and Noah had met Dan’s eyes and replied “You seem to like when it gets hard.” Dan had blushed, people had laughed, and they had cut. Noah had been thankful that the shop’s counter was tall enough to hide his erection and had mostly carried off the pretence of it having been a joke when people laughed about the ‘great outtake’ and his ‘comic timing.’

Then there was the scene in Patrick’s car when David kisses him. Noah had slid his tongue playfully across Dan’s lips and Dan had pulled back in shock. They’d cut and Noah had apologised, telling everyone that he’d just gotten really into the flow of Patrick’s first kiss while sending Dan smouldering looks. Dan had yelled at him once they’d gotten back to Noah’s apartment. Well, he hadn’t yelled, exactly - Dan would never yell at the talent - but there had been a number of words in his stern director voice about courtesy to the rest of the team and then, once Noah had expressed a sufficient level of contriteness, Dan had fucked him into oblivion, his cock deep in Noah’s ass, his hands leaving bruises on Noah’s hips, and his tentacles alternately pinching and caressing Noah everywhere. A few had even managed to adhere to the nape of Noah’s neck with their retractable suckers, simulating pulling his hair and that had been the thing that pushed him over the edge.

Now that shooting for Season Three had wrapped, Noah’s anxiety was beginning to creep back in. They hadn’t spoken about what would happen during the break and he was terrified that Dan would head back to LA and this magical interlude would be over and he wasn’t ready to let Dan go.

He watched Dan working the crowd at the wrap party and fretted, taking large gulps from his drink. Every now and then Dan would glance over and smile at him and Noah would lose his breath for a moment, then Dan would return his attention to whoever he was speaking to and the spell would break. 

When the room started to spin, he realised that he’d probably had too much of whatever the punch was. This was confirmed when he tried to set his cup down and he wobbled. Noah stumbled outside, hoping the cool air would sober him up but the walking just made everything worse and he half ran to the nearest bushes, where he promptly lost the sloshing contents of his stomach.

As he sat back on his knees, feeling better but certainly not good, a few tentacles wrapped around his shoulder as others proffered a glass of water. His whole body felt clammy and his mouth tasted foul and, _of course_ , Dan had to be here to see this. Gorgeous, caring, _competent_ Dan.

“Sometimes I wish you were David,” he whispered. 

Several tentacles pulled away and others froze where they were rubbing soothing circles down Noah’s back. “What?”

Noah glared down at the gravel, tears in the corners of his eyes. “I-I just, you’re so wonderful and perfect and I’m so not. I’m a mess.”

The tentacles with the water tentatively held it out to him again and Noah took it, taking a couple deep gulps. Dan was quiet behind him. A tentacle reached out a handkerchief and Noah wiped his face and tried to subtly blow his nose. He sat there miserably, listening to the silence grow heavier.

“What,” Dan finally asked, and Noah hated the cautious tone in his voice, “does that have to do with David?”

Noah closed his eyes. He knew it wasn’t fair to have expected something else, not after dropping that bomb on Dan, but a small part of him had hoped, had expected, Dan to deny that he was a mess, despite the fact that Dan was literally helping to mop him up at the moment.

Noah sighed. “David’s a wreck, too, you know? I just, sometimes he’s easier to relate to.”

“I see.” There was another long pause. “Well, thank you for letting me know that. Do you need anything right now?”

Noah’s eyes popped open. Dan reached down a hand to him and Noah stared blankly at it. “D-do I … what?”

“Need anything. Like ibuprofen or more water or …” Dan trailed off as Noah continued to look at his hand. Another pause.

Noah warily placed his hand atop it and Dan’s fingers instantly curled around his. He pulled Noah to his feet, tentacles steadying them both, and then raised Noah’s chin to look him in the eyes.

“Let’s get you home, Noah.”

Noah blinked at him and then nodded. “Yeah, okay, thanks. That, that would be good.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PB/DR

_Bang_

_Bang_

_Bang_

_Thump_

_Sliiiiiiiiide_

_Thud_

“What was that?”

“Omigod, _David_ , someone’s at the door.”

David blinked, looking over at where his sister lay, still completely bundled under her covers. “Why is someone at the door?”

_Thump. “David!”_

The garbled shout had David flailing back against his headboard.

“Omigod, I can’t believe you have visitors right now. _Ew_ , David.” His name was barely intelligible as Alexis slid her face under the pillow.

“Visitors? I don’t have visitors. Who knows what’s making that noise?”

David jumped as there was another _Thump_. A muffled scream came from where Alexis lay.

_Thump. “Daaaaavid”_

Suddenly the lights came on as their parents burst in through the connecting door. 

“What is going on in here?” his father demanded.

David opened his mouth to deny any knowledge of the proceedings but was cut off by his mother. “Honestly, David, isn’t it a bit late to be entertaining gentlemen callers?” Her voice went up at _least_ an octave as she spoke.

“I’m not _entertaining_ anyone,” David hissed. “Now get out of here and turn. off. the. lights!” He whispered this last, accompanied by firm, very clear, gestures that his parents needed to take themselves back to their own room. They ignored him.

“Well, aren’t you going to open the door?” his dad asked.

David’s eyes nearly popped out of his head. “What? No! _Why_ would I do that?”

_Thump. “David!”_

“Well someone’s gonna have to open the door!” David watched in horror as his father took a few steps across the room. 

“What? Omigod, Dad, no!” He scrambled out of bed and crossed to block his father’s path to the door. He grimaced and ground out between clenched teeth, “ _IF_ you go back to your room, _I_ will deal with this. Mmkay. Go on.” He made a shooing motion that had no effect whatsoever.

“Well, but what if you need help, son?” His father refused to budge.

David glared daggers at him and for a moment no one said anything.

_Thump_

David leapt away from the door as though it had bitten him. He gingerly reached out a hand toward the knob and slowly twisted it. The door sprang open, depositing Patrick, who’d apparently been leaning against it, on to the floor of the room. He blinked blearily up at David and smiled sappily.

“Hey, you.” His voice came out slightly slurred and David recoiled.

“Patrick? _What_ are you doing here?”

Patrick grinned sloppily up at him. “Wanted to see you.” He waved vaguely. “Hi!”

“Oh. My. God. _Patrick_. Are you _DRUNK_?” David glanced back at the avid faces of his family as they took in this tableau and felt his whole body heave with angst. Normally he found everything Patrick did endearing but right now he could feel the ‘Happy Day Alex & Davis’ cake curdling in his belly.

Patrick just grinned up at him and David realised that his direct intervention was probably the only way this nightmare was going to end.

Sighing pointedly, he glared at his parents again for good measure and then leaned down, scooping his hands under Patrick’s shoulders and hefting him back into a seated position. He gently leaned Patrick against the door frame. Patrick promptly began to slide down again and David rearranged so that one hand was marginally holding him up while the other slammed the door in his jerk family’s faces.

Somehow he managed to get Patrick back on his feet and they stumbled their way to his car. He awkwardly helped Patrick into the passenger seat, wincing as Patrick’s head hit first the door and then the dash before David was finally able to get him safely belted in.

He took a few centring breaths before opening the driver’s side and getting in. “Alright, Patrick, where am I going?”

Patrick eyed him woozily. “You kissed me, David.”

David just couldn’t even. “Yes, I know, I was there. Doing that. What’s your address, Patrick?”

“You’re so pretty, David.” Patrick reached a hand toward David, who recoiled and slapped it away. Patrick pouted his lips together and slid a little further down in the seat, clearly hoping that David was going to kiss him again.

“Oh. My. God. This can’t be happening.” David blinked a few times, shaking his head. “ADDRESS,” he seethed. He was really just _not_ in a place to appreciate drunk, sloppy Patrick right now.

After a few more impatient moments of Patrick making some kind of weird duck thing happen with his lips, David gave up and just reached into Patrick’s back pocket, gagging at the happy sigh and muttered “ooooh, yeeeeaaaaaah, David,” that accompanied his rummaging. He pulled Patrick’s wallet free and opened it. Instantly he was assaulted by a picture of Patrick with his arms around some girl, lips spread in the world’s most awkward smile. David wished he’d slept in a long sleeve shirt so he could cover his hand in a cuff, but the hem of his t-shirt would have to do. He was definitely going to have to burn it, later. He carefully wrapped his fingers and then flipped past the offending article. 

He shook his head at the questionable taste implied by the next few cards in the sleeves, his eyebrows all the way merged with his hairline. Who even knew there _was_ such a place as ‘Fashionable Male’, much less that they had loyalty cards. David shuddered. Clearly they needed help with their brand image because the punch card was nearly complete and he was familiar enough with Patrick’s coarse polyblend button-ups and mid-range denim wardrobe at this point to safely conclude there wasn’t anything especially ‘fashionable’ in it.

Ew. The next card seemed to be for somewhere called ‘Eaterie.’ David hoped it was ironic and felt depressed at how few people really carried that off. Unsurprisingly, Patrick also had a punch card for ‘Smooth Shaves’ and David couldn’t wait to get to a point where he could redirect Patrick’s styling choices.

Honestly the only thing that wasn’t at least mildly offensive was the national health card and the weird metal thingy with ragged edges and bits punched out. David wondered for a moment if it was something kinky but discarded that train of thought almost immediately as unlikely. Patrick let out a soft snore beside him and David glanced up at him, exasperated.

Not finding Patrick’s license in any of the sleeves, he opened the cash compartment which seemed to be full of garish blue and red play money? Who carried around fake money with a weird, David squinted, was that a pompomed beret? On the Santa figure? Ew. He counted $150 and tried not to contemplate just what sort of services that might entitle one to at a ‘Canadian Tire’ outlet. There was also a very worn and, ew, very _EXPIRED_ condom. David rolled his eyes, his upper lip curling. Ugh, straight boys and the things they did to condoms.

David caught his breath at the next item and suddenly he remembered how much he adored Patrick and how much Patrick was coming to mean to him. He’d kept the B-13 tab. David had to believe that, sad, tired condom aside, Patrick was keeping it here so that he’d always have it close by. He considered kissing it for luck but couldn’t bring himself to put any more of his body in contact with the things in Patrick’s wallet than was strictly necessary. Instead he leaned over and lightly kissed Patrick on the brow. Patrick murmured happily but didn’t wake and David allowed himself a moment to gaze fondly down at him before returning to his task.

At last he came to the license and, wow, they were definitely going to have to talk about that photo and the fact that Patrick was _apparently_ 5’11” on paper. Smiling to himself, he started the car and drove Patrick home.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DL/NR RPF
> 
> Contains tentacles

Noah clawed his way up from sleep as though he was swimming through molasses. His pulse was throbbing in his brain and he opened his eyes carefully, squinting around his bedroom as he groggily took stock. It was dim and cool. The curtains and blinds were all shut against the sunshine peeking in around the edges. Carefully, Noah pushed himself up on his elbows. When the room didn’t spin, well, not much anyhow, he sat up further and slowly swung his legs out over the side of the bed.

Looking up, he found a glass of water and a bottle of ibuprofen on his bedside table. He could smell coffee and hear vague sounds from downstairs. Noah’s stomach dropped and he felt his heart flutter. Oh, god. Someone was here. Someone was in his apartment. Someone who had thoughtfully left him pain meds and brewed coffee. He couldn’t remember making it to bed the night before, much less who he’d brought home. Not that it mattered. He ran a hand across his scalp, then put his elbows on his knees and his face in his hands as a sob hiccuped through him. Well, he’d been worried about blowing it with Dan and bringing someone else home was likely the nail in that particular coffin. He and Dan hadn’t talked about being exclusive, he’d been too afraid to make any demands, but Dan was everything that Noah wanted and the idea of having someone else in his home flattened him.

No. He wasn’t going to cry about this. Not yet. Not until he had more information about just how bad it was. Noah grimly swallowed two tablets and half the water. He was going to have to go down and figure out who it was that he’d brought home last night. He seemed to still be wearing his boxers and a t-shirt and a tiny part of him held out hope that meant he hadn’t actually slept with whoever it was. Well, ok, that ship had likely sailed but at least, maybe, they hadn’t had sex. Surely, that had to count for something? Though, a rude voice inside him pointed out, it likely wouldn’t count for much that he’d been too drunk to sleep with the not-Dan person he’d brought home. His breath caught as a pang of loss hit him and he took a moment to steady his nerves. Taking a deep breath, he got up and padded into the bathroom to assess the damage.

Staring at his reflection after a long, hot shower, where he’d removed a minimum of three layers of skin, and a solid five minutes of brushing the taste of death out of his mouth, he told himself he was ready to stop stalling and face the proverbial music. He was an adult. He had made his choices, he wasn’t going to be defensive about having been drunk, he was just going to face up to whatever, or whoever, it was and he could do this.

He dug a fresh pair of boxers out of his dresser and then pulled on a clean t-shirt. He debated for longer than he was comfortable admitting over whether or not he should don actual trousers for this guaranteed-to-be-awkward meeting and ended up settling on jeans. He took a few more deep breaths, opened the door, and headed out of his bedroom with all the enthusiasm of a condemned man.

___

As he neared the bottom of the stairs, he reminded himself sternly that he would get through this. 

He looked up to find Dan, smirking at him from the doorway to the kitchen, looking far too alert and rested and wearing Noah’s pinstripe apron. He was holding out a coffee mug and everything about him projected blithely contented domesticity. It was as though he’d stepped directly out of Noah’s favourite dreams.

“Morning sunshine,” he said brightly. “Nice to see you back in the land of the living.”

Noah’s jaw dropped. “D-Dan? Wh-what are you … I mean, how did you …”

One of Dan’s eyebrows went up, along with various tentacles, as Noah threw himself down the last two steps and into his arms. He smashed his mouth against Dan’s, too relieved to be gentle, and their kiss was all clashing teeth and tongues and lips. Dan wrapped his arms around Noah, hands gripping his hips tightly, tentacles circling his waist and spiralling around his legs. A few curled themselves under his shirt and splayed out across his back and Noah gasped into Dan’s mouth, losing himself in the kiss and this feeling he’d thought he’d never have again.

When he finally calmed down enough to ease up, he nuzzled his face into Dan’s neck. They were both breathing heavily. Noah’s fingers were tangled in Dan’s hair and he cherished every point of contact between them. 

“I see someone’s feeling better.” Dan’s tone made his smirk obvious. He kissed Noah’s temple and Noah could feel the tears he’d denied earlier building behind his eyelids.

“Hey,” Dan said, after a few moments where Noah tried, and failed, to pull himself back together. He was rubbing small circles against Noah’s hips. Noah could feel various tentacles squeezing him and instead of constriction, he felt like at last he could truly relax. Dan gently cupped Noah’s chin with one hand and raised his face, brows drawing together as he softly kissed the tear tracks down Noah’s cheeks. “Hey,” he said again, “Noah, babe, what’s wrong?”

Noah sniffed and buried his face once more into Dan’s neck. “I, I’m sorry, I just, um, I thought you’d gone.”

“Gone? Noah, what are you talking about?”

Noah took a deep breath and pulled his head up to meet Dan’s searching look. “To LA. I thought you’d have left by now.”

Dan cocked his head. “Without saying goodbye? You thought I’d just run off without a word? Like some cliched thief in the night?”

Noah shook his head. “No, of course not. Well, maybe? I don’t know. I just, I woke up, and I could hear someone down here and I don’t remember what happened last night so I … I just, I thought you must’ve left.”

Dan frowned and shook his head. “If you thought I was gone, who did you think was here?”

Noah hung his head. “I didn’t know. I figured I must have picked someone up after I got drunk at the party and that I’d ruined everything.”

He tried to pull away but the tentacles held him rooted to the spot. Dan sighed and leaned in to kiss Noah’s forehead. Noah blinked. He brought his gaze up to find Dan giving him an exasperated look. One of the tentacles hovering nearby booped Noah on the nose and Noah’s mouth opened, then closed. He stood there for a minute, gawping like a fish, as a smile widened across Dan’s face.

“I won’t deny that you were an idiot last night, and there are definitely some things we need to discuss, but, babe, _Noah_ ,” he cupped both his hands around Noah’s face for emphasis. “This is important to me. _You_ are important to me.” He paused to let that sink in and Noah gulped. “I’m not going anywhere without talking to you first and I’m sure as hell not letting you go home with some stranger looking to take advantage of your drunken state.”

Noah could feel a smile playing around his own lips and Dan shook his head, his answering grin bright and mischievous. 

“Do you really not remember last night?”

“I mean, I remember the party, and drinking some punch, watching you weave your magic through the crowd … but it’s all vague and fuzzy.”

“So then you don’t remember puking by the bushes?”

Noah felt his face grow hot as he shook his head. “No, though that would explain why my mouth was so disgusting when I woke up.”

“Hmmm,” Dan leaned in and stole a soft kiss. “Thanks for taking care of that before you came downstairs, by the way.”

Noah nodded. He felt like there was something big he was missing. “Is that it? I puked in the bushes?”

Dan chuckled. “No, oh no. It definitely gets worse.” As Noah’s face fell, Dan kissed him again. “Don’t worry about it, Noah. Let’s get you some coffee and some breakfast.” He stepped back and held out a hand. Noah took it and Dan gave him a squeeze, two or three tentacles twining up around Noah’s wrist as Dan tugged him toward the kitchen. Noah followed him, slightly anxious but generally glowing at how fortunate he was to have this man in his life.


End file.
